Bicycle Tinkerer

Grit from grit's day mentioned that her daughters got new bicycles recently.  She home schools them.  The combination of those two facts got me thinking.  The earliest memory of my dad teaching me something mechanical in nature was how to work on my own bike.

Since then my interest in bicycles has waxed and waned but never has gone altogether.  I find the easy to understand mechanics appealing.  I've read Bicycling Science and I really like that a seemingly simple device could also be potentially the most efficient method of travel and most efficient conversion of human power into mechanical movement.  The Wright Brothers were bicycle mechanics before they built their plane.  Once you know how to work on a bike, you can expand that knowledge in so many different ways.

I've become a tinkerer and do-it-yourselfer.  I like to work with tools, in my shop, on our vehicles or fixing broken toys.  I have a basic understanding of how to make things and even went to college for industrial design.  I feel being allowed to pull out some of my dad's tools and work on fixing a flat tire or modding the bike somehow contributed to what I have become.

My bikes are in the garage.  They have a layer of dust on them because they haven't been ridden in a while.  I've worked on my daughter's bike and a couple of other similar projects.  I've even considered holding the occasional bike workshop for the kids in our condo complex.  This way I can get their bikes running better and maybe teach a few how to work on their own.

After we move, I would like to use our bikes more.  This means a little adjustment to our current living style but I think a move to a new area would be an opportunity to do so.  If we are using our bikes more, my kids will soon get their first lesson on how to do maintenance on their own bikes.

Personal Vehicles

I look at other people's cars especially when something different catches my eye.  Being a "car guy", I like it when people customize their vehicle in some way.  It makes the car more personal, and lets people know that it is your car.  People used to do this to the things they owned, especially the things they valued.  Society doesn't do it much anymore and I think we are blending in too much.  Next time you go to a parking lot look at all the cars.  Most will look alike and the ones that stick out are usually the ones that have been customized.

Personalized license plates are a great way to make sure your vehicle is unique.  This first one is great because SFX is short for "specail effects", something I've liked since high school.  As a side note, license plates with less than four letters are rare.  One reason is just the statistics.  There aren't as many combinations possible with only three characters.  Second, some states actually reserve plates with less than four characters for special vehicles, government, etc.

I'm a big fan of Randall Munroe and his webcomic xkcd so this one make me laugh.  Only way it would have been cooler is if it had "1I1-III1"!

Bumper stickers are a cheap and easy way to add a personal touch to a car.  The only down side being that other people may have the same sticker.  (Which could be a good thing.)  One way to make the stickers less common is using them in combination with others.  This combination of bumper stickers confuses me though.  I can understand the Christian fish and the sticker that reads "Are you following JESUS this close?" but I don't quite understand the addition of the "Coexist" sticker along with those.  The sticker itself is a contradiction that when you get down to fundamentals, many of those religions/beliefs don't agree with the others.  If your the owner of this vehicle or someone who understands this, please explain it to me.

Our truck is a vehicle we bought used and it wasn't in the best of shape.  When we got it, my wife actually told me that I could do just about anything to it.  This is big news because she wouldn't let me do anything with the other vehicles because they were in too good of condition.  That being said, there will be some posts about the customizing that I have in mind for it in the future!

Tired TV Buddy

It was Pajama Day and my little buddy fell asleep while we watched Tron: Uprising cartoon.  The older sibling stayed awake and liked the show.

Lightsaber Fun!

Oldest one was invited to a Star Wars themed party last week and got to bring home a foam noodle lightsaber.  That prompted us to make a couple of more which led to a lightsaber fight.  I was given the red lightsaber so I donned a towel for a hood and became Darth Daddy.  C got a cape and became, in her own words, a princess Jedi!  S got a rust red t-shirt from dad's closet and became a robe wearing Jedi.

Two things we learned from this.  Moving noodles look like lightsabers in photos and kazoos make pretty good lightsaber sound effects!

I also learned that my kids would make horrible Jedi but really good Sith lords!  They showed no mercy when striking down their father!

Too Much Stuff

The more I see the stuff we've collected and the stress we put ourselves in to store, clean, pack and move all of it, the more I consider downsizing our belongings and try to focus on things that have more of a purpose for us.

I have been going to Tiny House Blog for over a year now and though I don't think a house as small as what they typically highlight would do well for us and our planned family, it does inspire me to think smaller.  One aspect that small home owners typically say is that a small home causes you to be cleaner and more organized.  You have to be when every inch counts.  They also say that because it's smaller inside, they tend to do more outdoors being active and spending time with friends, family, and the community.  Another benefit is cost.  A small house is cheaper to build or you can spend more on quality because of the smaller amount of materials needed.  It costs less to heat and cool due to smaller total space.  These benefits really attract me and make me look hard at a smaller life style.

On the flip side, we have need of a home with some space.  We are considering adopting one or two children putting our family in the six or seven person household.  It would be hard to have that many people in a tiny house.  We would have to have space for each person's things such as clothes, dishes and cups, beds, toothbrushes, you get my point.  I am a tool monger and love to do things myself.  This includes fixing things around the house and also making my own things.  So I would like to have a workshop space.  My wife requires a small office space.  These are just a few things we would like to have in our home.

Things we have and love but could downsize (I suppose) would be our books (we have several bookshelves full), our movies/shows (a lot of DVDs and VHS), music (CDs and tapes), toys and nicknacks.  We like to cook and have several kitchen related items that aren't used regularly.  We have a variety of things in storage that we don't but once a year (such as clothes) or we have for emergency situations.  (You have to plan for weather/disaster conditions here in south Florida).  We enjoy all of this stuff and they have meaning for us but under extreme circumstances they could be downsized.  We aren't hoarders but we do like to have certain things.

My goal for our future home is not to go large like what has become popular, but to have a well designed home.  Everything organized and easy to find.  Every space being used regularly and potentially for multiple purposes.  The space being easy to clean.  I know that as a larger family, we will need a space for group activities but that might be the only large room in the house.  We will have to work on our ideas together and keep an eye out for what we like.  It will be a while before we can get our dream house anyways.

Premoving Stress

We have so many things to do and plan for before and after our move.  We've gotten a lot done already and got started early.  It just seems like the time is getting too close.

The Mrs. and I were discussing scheduling for our summer.  We are trying to arrange to move after C has gotten out of school.  S has gotten to see my parents so we are trying to get C there also.  There is also both their birthdays, one in June and one in July, that we are scheduling around.  We are figuring that the move will require two trips to get everything moved and give us a chance to be able to clean and prep the condo for renting.  Mix into that a major church event scheduled the first week of July.  At least one the Mrs.'s high school friends has offered to help with the kids once we get up there.  We just need to figure out when to have her come down from the Pittsburgh area to help.

Up until we are completely moved, we have a huge list of things we need to do.  We are intending to fix the grout in the master bathroom's shower.  It's not bad but it has pulled away from the tub and we would like to regrout that bottom part.  We tiled our main living area and just need to finish a small section of base molding along the wall along with installing floor dividers to create a clean transfer between tile and carpet into the bedrooms.  We'll need to fix holes in the wall from nails, accidents, etc.  After these, we'll need to repaint of course.  I intend to deep clean the floors and polish them nicely.  While we have a great deal packed and could probably have everything that's left packed quickly, we do still have some stuff left.  I was building a cargo box for our utility trailer but our HOA asked us to remove the trailer from the property due to association rules.  We understand but it makes it a little more difficult to finish.  Now I have to finish it right before the move.  I was hoping to have it built and start putting stuff in it up until the move to allow us to have more space to clean the condo.  Oh well.

We are under a lot of pressure.  I find myself getting aggravated and depressed about not having more time to do these things or something not working out preventing me from working on this stuff.  In truth though, we have been planning this move for a while.  We've gotten so many things done, such as fixing the truck up (u-bolt issue, new bumper, trailer hitch), selling the car, buying a trailer, and most of our stuff packed.  So I don't understand why I am feeling this way.  I discussed it with my wife and I've decided like so many things, if I am getting down about things, I should just pray about it and leave the outcome to God.

Boredom

I may have had problems with boredom as a child but I really haven't been to afflicted by it for awhile.  I know many people still do, even as adults.  I have been occasionally asked if I was bored due to staring off into space and usually I was just thinking or trying to visualize something in my head.

My children have already had bouts of boredom and I understand that any advice I give them may not sink in.  I mentioned this article before but I feel a need to bring it up again with a post about boredom.

First, the ultimate boredom inducing experience, cabin fever.  To quote wikipedia:

"Cabin fever is an idiomatic term, first recorded in 1918, for a claustrophobic reaction that takes place when a person or group is isolated and/or shut in a small space, with nothing to do for an extended period. Cabin fever describes the extreme irritability and restlessness a person may feel in these situations.

The phrase is also used humorously to indicate simple boredom from being home alone."

So what is the solution?  Be creative and do something.  The problem I see my kids and many people have is that the things that are available to do are usually activities we don't want to do.  I loved this statement by Deborah Shapiro in the BBC article mentioned above,

"People sometimes joke that long-distance sailors must have a high boredom threshold, but my response is that one can only be as bored as one is boring.

Doing things is the antidote. We always have a creative project in progress - the documentation of the voyage itself.

There are hours of repairs to accomplish every day, just to keep things operational. In the evenings, we often play games. Or we read aloud for each other, pausing to discuss our reactions and thoughts.

We also developed thoughts during the winter as a team, mostly along the lines of our favoured subject... All winter we discussed and honed the idea. "

This husband and wife team spent a great deal of time on a boat isolated from the rest of the world.  Cabin fever could have drove them nuts (ala The Shining) but they found the solution that I hope my kids can learn.

Happy Stars Wars Day!

You could call us a little geeky.  We don't watch all the sci-fi shows or movies but there are favorites around here.  We also don't go nuts about the shows/movies we watch.  We like them and know a lot about them but probably couldn't debate the finer points with a more knowledgeable person.

We do like remembering our holidays.  So, in a collision of geekiness and holiday celebration,

May the force be with you!

P.s. Why is it Star Wars Day?  May 4th can be said as "May the fourth!", very similar to "May the force".

Marriage

I often wish that I had learned things earlier rather than later.  My relationship with my wife before and after our wedding was great but did contain the occasional hiccup.  We had our misunderstandings and arguments.  We got on each other's nerves.  The more experience I get the easier our relationship becomes.

After reading a BBC article about a husband and wife team that has spent extended time together in isolation from other people, it dawned on me that much of our life has been slightly more secluded than what many people may have.  As an example, before kids we would go to work, go out to eat and do a variety of leisure activities such as biking, travel, going to the beach or movies, or shopping.  We either did these things together as a couple or alone.  We seldom have guests (outside of the occasional relative coming to visit) to our home and we rarely go to others houses.  Even after kids, we keep mainly to ourselves.  (We do have the occasional play date with neighbors but not many.)  Maybe this self sought isolation contributed to our early arguments.

I found through time that there are very few things worth arguing about.  (Take note: I believe debating is great for a relationship but the difference is that a debate is a logical exchange of opinions and ideas and an argument is two people yelling at each other thinking they're the one that is right and the other is wrong!)  Looking back, I realize many of the things I got upset about were minor annoyances.  I wonder how many times my wife got upset with me for little things that I did.  The article describes that in times of isolation, people get irritable about things that are minor (aka cabin fever).  As an example, one time I got frustrated and upset about how my wife was not stacking the dishes in the cupboard the way I thought was best.

"Cabin fever usually manifests itself first in signs of irritation, and ends in violence."

I wish that someone would have taken me aside and taught me these things.  As a young adult, I don't know if I would have listened but it may have saved a great deal of trouble.  For my kids who may read this in the future, here are some things I learned about marriage from this article.

 "One has to be able to give the other person mental elbow room."

If my wife is in the same room with me, I sometimes have a hard time with this one.  I have learned that when she goes into our room she is usually needing some private time to read, work or do bills.  It's a lot less distracting compared to our main living area.

"Remain sensitive to each other's moods and concerns, never belittling."

I don't think I've done this often but I do know couples that have nagged at each other and they have ended in divorce.

"Showing care benefits both."

My wife has told me that the little things that I do make her happier even if they are relatively minor things.  She enjoys it when I open doors for her, or give her a back rub in the evening.  These things may not be efficient uses of time but they help our relationship.

In a marriage, we need to work as two independent parts of the same machine.  We each have our roles and jobs but we need to be able to work together to accomplish our goals.  As a couple and as parents, our goal should be to raise our children and keep our family together.  That means developing a good relationship with each other.  Hopefully, what I've learned will help keep our family strong throughout the future.

Antenna

Our condo is interesting in that it is very limited in TV options.  The entire time we've lived here, Comcast has been the only cable provider we could go with due to some sort of deal where there is only one line in and it's theirs.  We used to be able to get DirectTV satellite service but the HOA nixed that.  I can understand.  Imagine all the little satellite dishes attached to the roof line or rigged on people's porches. 

So our options are down to Comcast cable or indoor antenna (indoor for the same reasons as not being allowed to have a satellite dish).  Our condo, being built to strict hurricane proof guidelines, has steel studs in the interior walls and cinder block exterior walls.  I'm not sure if these have anything to do with it but our antenna reception has been horrible to nonexistent.  We went without cable for a summer after we had to end our satellite service and did well but decided to sign up for basic cable once the fall lineup came back on.  This was before kids and before internet services like Hulu and Netflix instant. With the cost of cable going up (not to mention the kid related expenses) we finally weened ourselves off of cable also.  For several months we only watched DVDs. 

Then one day I tried the co-axial outlet just to see if maybe it was somehow connected to an antenna (I know, silly idea but a friend mentioned that their apartment's plugs were switched to antenna when not plugged into the cable service).  Surprisingly, we got several basic cable channels.  We took advantage of that until they finally updated the equipment connected to our condo and we lost it again.

We've been that way for awhile now.  We toyed with the idea of getting a newer more powerful antenna but the price was always annoying for something we could do without.  We weren't even sure a bought antenna would do us any good due to the building structure, outside obstacles, etc.  So we made do with watching internet streaming up until now.

The bombing at the Boston marathon and the explosions in Texas (not to mention all the miscellaneous news elsewhere), reminded me of when I watched the morning news and saw the twin towers fall.  Made me kinda antsy to watch some actual news rather read the internet stuff.

I remembered that I had run across a link to a diy antenna that could pick up digital some time ago.  A quick internet search lead to several options many of which were great ideas but were overkill for what I could do in my condo.  I finally came upon a post via Make magazine blog that shows a fractal antenna.  I chose it because it could potentially get better reception in a smaller space.  I made a prototype with some speaker wire and cardboard using a printout I found.  I made this with stuff I already had to see if it worked before I spent money (which is in tight demand at the moment) on better stuff.  I made it as good as I could with the little time and the distractions that I had.  I plugged it into the TV via a coaxial and placed the antenna on a high shelf.

Darned if it didn't work!  We get 44 channels now and the signal strength registers at no lower than 87% most of the time for any of the channels.  On the down side, we do live in the Fort Lauderdale area, so probably a third of the channels is in Spanish.  Some of the channels may be duplicates but this is still 44 channels more than what we did have.

Sorry for the long post but I seldom attempt an electronics project like this.  I didn't think it would work, honestly.  I couldn't be accurate.  I like to strive to make things that are functional but also look great.  I just didn't have the time to put into this to accomplish my normal goals.  Now that I know it works well in prototype form, I may spend more time and money making a more permanent one in the future.

As an end note, I didn't go much into this as a how-to.  There are plenty of references online.  Go to the link above or search for "diy digital antenna" or maybe add "fractal" to the search terms.  If you really want my how to, then let me know.  Super simple, no soldering.  The next version will probably be more complex and better made but for now I get to watch TV again!

Happy Earth Day 2013!

I'm on board with the concept of Earth Day.  We should take care of the planet we live on.  Currently, it's the only one we have.  I agree with the concept of reduce, reuse, recycle.  Why I celebrate Earth Day may be different than what you are used to hearing, though.

First, as a christian, I do believe that this world is finite and one day God will choose to destroy it.  Even from a science background, you have to understand that the Earth's chances of getting destroyed are pretty good with events like the expansion of our sun, a collision with a large meteor/comet, political instability with nuclear (or other more powerful) weapons and the list goes on.  I don't support Earth Day from the view point of making the planet last longer.  My philosophy is more based on the Bible.

  "Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” - Gen. 1:28 NKJV

"Then the Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to tend and keep it." - Gen. 2:15 NKJV

 I believe that we are here to take care of the Earth for no greater reason than that God created it and everything it contains and then told us to take care of it.  We should not waste or destroy the things that God has created.

"Then God saw everything that He had made, and indeed it was very good." - Gen. 1:31 NKJV

(Side note: This is the only time during creation that God says things were "very good".)

Second, I approach the concept of "living green" because it can save you money and give you more freedom leading to all sorts of other benefits.  Take some common examples of green living and think them through.  Solar panels and passive heating and cooling save you money (once paid off) by keeping you from needing electricity produced at a potentially polluting plant.  Healthier foods, building materials in our homes and businesses, and cleaning supplies (just to name a few) will reduce potential illnesses and subsequent health care expenses.

So what do I normally do and what did I do today?  

• Thanks to my wonderful wife, we recycle as much as we can.  Our condo association has recycling bins and all we have to do is make sure the paper, plastic, glass, or metal we are recycling is clean and safe for the workers (no sharp edges).  When we first started we reduced how much we threw away by half if not more.
• We keep the thermostat at a higher level than some might be used to.  We keep it slightly warmer and rely more on the fans to keep the air moving and cooling us.  (In our area, the moving air also reduces the humidity in the house and potential related problems.)  Today, because the temperature was mild outside, I just turned the air conditioner off all together and set a fan in the window to help air circulate.
• Many of the lights we regularly use are florescent and any incandescent ones are on dimmer switches.  Eventually I'd like to upgrade some to LED but I'm not sold on making all of them LED.  I'd also like to set some of our lights on motion sensors so that they turn off when we aren't in the room.

I hate to use the excuse of living in a condo prevents me from doing more but we are limited by size of space, money, and the way our condo is set up.  We will do more when we move and have more options.

With that being said, happy Earth Day!

Wife's Rules #8

Our kitchen sink has two bowls, one large and one small, with a garbage disposal in the smaller.  The faucet is positioned practically inline with the smaller bowl, so this one gets used more often.  Because of this, we have rule...

8:  Do not leave anything in the smaller bowl of the sink.  This is primarily due to our water pitcher.  We have one of the ones you fill and it filters the water.  It can get heavy while filling so my wife prefers to rest it on the bottom of the sink bowl.  Having things in the sink prevents this process from working out.  I don't prefer things in the sink because of the disposal.  If food meant for the disposal goes in the sink, I would rather it go down immediately rather than have to wait to clear out the dishes first.

This is another rule where it makes perfect sense but isn't always followed.

To my wife...

From: xkcd

Just because I love her.

Wife's Rules #7 - Nighttime Chores Part 3

Continuing with our evening chores.

7. Take the trash out (including bathroom & office trash, and cat litter as needed).  As a kid, I did this chore when I got home from school.  Now it's a nighttime chore because having kids diapers, shrimp shells, or any number of other smelly things in the can to greet you in the morning as you are trying to wake up is not something my wife likes.  This also includes bathroom trash (for similar reasons) and the office trash.  When due, this is combined with changing the cat litter which could be a whole other rule/chore.

There are some tasks that I don't anyone else in the family to do (at least until the kids are older).  The trash is one.  We live in a condo that has a trash valet (a service where you set out a garbage can and someone else will take your trash to the trash compacter on the property).  We don't use it because we are within walking distance to the compactor and usually aren't ready to take the garbage out by the time they make their evening rounds.  My wife doesn't feel safe walking to the compactor late at night and I don't really want her to have to deal with the trash/germs/etc. anyways.  So I usually will do this and take the dog so he can have his last stroll of the day.  Usually, the only problem is the weather.

As a side note, our condo neighbors throw out a great deal of stuff that should instead be taken to the dump.  They will usually put it behind the compactor so the property management will have to deal with it later (once a week on average).  Taking the dog and trash out gives me a chance to see if I can salvage something of use or something I can sell for scrap.  (This has been put on hold recently because we are planning a move and extra 'junk' takes up valuable space.)  You'll probably see a post about this activity in the future.

Wife's Rules #6 - Nighttime Chores Part 2

Having a pet means you have responsibilities.  Sometimes inconvenient because going out in the weather before bed is not high on my list but it is still necessary.

6. Walk the dog.  It's logical.  I don't want to go to bed without using the restroom.  I shouldn't expect the dog to hold it all night if he doesn't get a chance to empty out before bed.  Usually combined with taking the trash out (just to get two things done at once).

Our dog's name is Chopper and he is a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.  I only mention this because I am proud of him.  I have to admit there has been a time that I forgot to take him out and he still held it over night.  Since the kids were born, he has gotten less attention but he still seems happy when I wash him or take him out.  Maybe because those are times that I am spending time with him.  It's nice to see his tail waging.  Makes me feel warm inside.

To be continued…

Wife's Rules #5 - Nighttime Chores

Due to a variety of reasons, I have a series of chores that I have to do in the evening with few exceptions.  Some are not rules imposed by wife but are things that seem to fall into chores that I'm supposed to do instead of someone else.

5. Fill the water pitcher every evening.  For years, we made coffee in a french press.  This means pouring boiling into the coffee grinds in the french press.  We prefer filtered water versus our local tap.  We use a water pitcher that has it's own filter.  It takes a little while to filter enough water to make a full pitcher.  This means to have water to boil in the morning, we need to have filtered water in advance.  We have since upgraded(?) to a drip coffee maker with a timer (which we don't use much) but we still need the water prefiltered due to usually have so many things to do already on a typical morning.  To cut down on bottled water we use reusable bottles and refill them.  Wife prefers to have water next to her bed at night and to take water with her to work, both requiring water filtered the previous evening.

I already made mention of the overnight clothes in the washer which is another nighttime chore.  I will usually do the dishes in the evening because it can be hard to hold a 10 m/o while doing dishes.  Add to this the nightly request for a backrub (which can be inconvenient but I enjoy doing) and having to put the kids to bed earlier in the evening.

I'm quite busy but I still try to find time to spend adult time with my wife watching t.v., reading, or talking about our day.  Yes I go to bed later than everyone else and get up as early or earlier than everybody else but things need to get done.

To be continued...

Heroes

Last Saturday, my son and I got a great opportunity.  We left the girls at home with mom and took some stuff that we weren't going to move with us to our church run thrift store.  While there, the local fire department brought a firetruck and ambulance to do a presentation for the customers.  It was scheduled, we just happened to be there at the right time!

The lieutenant firefighter giving the presentation asked Sam if he could drive.  Without missing a beat he said "Yeah!" so he was allowed to sit in the drivers seat of the firetruck!

After that, he started to get distracted as the presentation went along.  It was hot and bright out.  It was also getting closer to lunchtime.  As part of the demo, a lady firefighter suited up in her gear.  This got Sam's attention.  He was nervous but interested in meeting a person in all this gear.

She asked him his name.  He said his name and she replied, "My name's Sam, too!" (I asked the lieutenant why she was the one that suited up and without missing a beat he said she was lowest on the totem pole!)

Afterwards, we got to see some of the tools firefighters use and got to look at and in an ambulance.  It was a great experience.  I have been intending to take the kids to a fire station.  I read that kids will run away from firefighters trying to rescue them from a fire because they are scared of the uniforms.  My idea was to take them so they can see them wearing the outfits so as to not be scared during a fire.  Before leaving, I did ask about giving that chance to my other kids and the lieutenant said to bring by the station any time.  As long as they are there, they would take the time to talk with the kids and show them around.

I have respected these unsung heroes for a long time.  Having the chance to meet our local crew was something that I won't forget.  Hopefully my son will remember them also!

My sincere thanks goes out to the firefighters at the North Lauderdale Fire Station 34 for the time they took with my son!

Trailer

When we decided to move, we looked at the options for getting our stuff up there.  Out of the choices, we decided to buy a pickup truck and trailer.  We bought the pickup last fall and now we are on the search for a suitable trailer.

Our criteria is pretty limiting.  We would prefer to get an enclosed trailer but they are typically out of our $1000 spending limit.  New is also out due to cost.  To try to cut down on trips, we would probably need a larger trailer but we are limited by the power of our truck and our storage options.  It has to be big enough to transport our king size bed and yet small enough to store it in the garage until the move.  (Our garage is long but standard one car width.)  Our ideal size, as near as I can guess, would be about 6' x 10'-12'.  I've been investigating options and have found a utility trailer typically fits into these requirements.  I will have to customize it a little so as to be able to transport our stuff without it falling out, getting wet, and hopefully reducing drag (for better gas mileage).

In searching for a trailer, I have resorted to looking at Craigslist.  I find the prices are generally better than many on Ebay.  We also don't get a newspaper so buying a paper just to look in the classifieds seems a waste.  I have found several good options, size and price wise.  Just need to decide which one and buy it before someone else does.

Our idea is to either buy the trailer for the move and then sell it later to make at least some of the money back or keep the trailer for other purposes later.  I can see the logic with both options but I am starting to favor keeping it and modifying it for camping purposes later.  I have had the idea for a while that while I love camping, my family is not so much into sleeping in a tent, getting wet and/or cold.  A camper would be a great solution but are well out of our price range (excluding a camper/topper on the pickup bed).  I have been inspired by all the examples online of other people building their own camper trailers, some of which are simple but extremely well done.  I've really been inspired by the examples of vardo (gypsy style wagon), teardrop, and airstream-like trailers.

As my wife says, though I have the know-how (or can get it), the tools, and the drive, I lack the time!  Aah well.  Story of my current life.

My Montage

I realize that my style of dress and presentation of myself is not the most attractive.  Think Mr. Mom before the clean up montage.

I would like to dress a little nicer even for everyday stuff.  I don't remember seeing my grandfather in a t-shirt until after he retired.  Even working outside, he always seemed to favor button down, light weight shirts and slacks.

My intention for awhile now is to wear a better hat than the typical baseball hat that I wear everyday (along with up scaling my clothing choices).  I've bought a couple of hats to try over time.  I got a great felt cowboy hat one winter in Texas but here in Florida, it gets to hot.  After trying that, I got a straw cowboy hat that works great but its cheap and starting to look beat up. 

My latest idea is to try a porkpie or a similar style fedora.  I found a black felt one at Target and tried it on.  I liked how I looked in it but I couldn't find one that fit.  They were either to large or small.  I bought the large one and tried to make it shrink with instructions I found online.  I completely botched it.  So I decided to check at a higher class store.  We have a Macy’s with a men’s section.  Figured I would start there before going online.  I found a fedora (officially a teardrop crown fedora with an upturned brim) that is close enough to what I wanted.  It is dark khaki polyester and fits just a little loose.  After prior mishap, I didn’t want to ruin another hat so I looked and found online that you could add a little padding under the sweatband.  I added a couple of folded index cards and it fits well.

It's different than what I've worn in the past and what most people are used to seeing.  I'm seldom one to care what others think of how I dress and I tend to prefer to be somewhat different.  I’ll have to wait to see what the Mrs. thinks of it though!

Helpmate

And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. - Gen. 2:18 KJV

God put Adam in the garden in Eden to take care of it.  In His wisdom, He knew that it wasn't good that Adam was alone.  The Bible doesn't describe this person as a companion but instead as a help meet. Help meet is defined as "a suitable helper".  A synonym for helper is assistant which is defined as a person "holding an auxiliary position; subordinate."  For the purpose of this blog, a helper would be your lieutenant or second in command.

In my situation, I have struggled with how to be leader to my family.  I sometimes feel that I am more of a helper for my wife rather than the leader with her helping me.  I have to honestly ask myself, do I do everything I can, as a leader, and then ask her to help or do I follow her lead and wait for her to ask me to do something?  I ask this because the last several days, I have been busy with the kids and exhausted at the end of the day.  Meanwhile, my wife will wash a load of dishes and a load (or more) of clothes in the morning/evening.  These have been on my chore list for a while now.  I just haven't been getting them done regularly as of late.  It may not be true but I get the feeling that she's doing this because of frustration that I hadn't done it before.  Top this with the aggravation she occasionally gets when she's running late for work in the morning. I know the chore issue is just a matter of time management and organization, the same with getting to work on time.

I find that as time slowly moves on, my children are getting slower to obey me and I have to raise my voice more often just to get them to focus on me.  My wife is not the type to keep things from me but she is more frequently doing things without consulting me and just telling me after the fact that she did them.  I just question how do I go from a housekeeper/manager of the house to a leadership role as a husband and father yet still get these things done?  What choices am I faced with that as a leader, I should be deciding?  How do I get my family to respect me as a leader? 

Wife's Rules #4

This time is a gimme but I figure I better list it for my son to learn from when he's old enough to read.

4. Put the seat down.  Every guy should know this even before they move in with a woman.  You may have a mother or sisters' wrath to deal with if you live in a house with them.

There has been only one time that this ended badly.  I figure that this is the reason urinals were invented (so we don't have to worry about a seat being up or down).  I find it also helps (a little) to hide the look of the toilet if its in need of cleaning.  (What am I saying?!?  Go clean the toilet.  Right now.)

Son, learn from the mistake of countless men and save yourself .

Back Pain

He sent forth his word and healed them; he rescued them from the grave.  Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men. - Psalm 107:20,21

There have been several times in my life where I feel a touch of God was involved.  Maybe not notable enough to consider miracles like raising the dead. More like events that I feel need to be praised and publicly announced because I think God helped in some small way.

The first, and most recent, that I'd like to give praise to God for is my back pain.  Several weekends ago, on a Saturday night, I pulled a muscle in my back while taking a shower.  I managed to finish the shower, get out and get dressed but every move seemed to tweak my lower back.  Even laying down hurt.  My wife gave me Sunday off from the kids and chores (thank you, love) during which I laid in bed the majority of the day.  By Monday, I could walk and do things but everything still caused my back to hurt, albeit less than Saturday night.  Over the next two weeks, I would have good days where it only felt sore and bad days where it would really bother me.

This past Sunday, after I shifted in the seat several times during the sermon at church, my wife encouraged me to talk to an elder after the service and ask for prayer.  I made my way to an elder and told him what was going on and asked for healing for my back.  The elder called another over, anointed me with oil.  Both of them laid hands on my shoulders and prayed for me.

My back pain was virtually gone the next morning (a little soreness at the beginning of the day).  You might say that after two weeks, my back finally got the rest it needed or something similar.  I attribute this as a small healing on His part and I thank and praise Him for it.

Let me explain so that you understand why this means so much to me.  I grew up during a time where preachers were on t.v. and claiming to do fantastic miracles like helping lame people walk.  Then, later, they were also found cheating on wives, squandering money, or any number of other dishonorable acts.  I also spent most of my life with a more scientific/analytical mind, e.g. I have to see it for myself to believe it.  So, while I do believe in God's ability to heal, I am wary of what people may claim as miracles in their lives.  Now, when I see or experience an extraordinary act, I credit God for having, if not a hand, at least a finger in it.

Thank you, Lord, for this act of kindness to me.

Priorities

Our pastor commented once in a message in regards to people arriving late to church. His statement said that if you make being at church a priority, you would make extra effort to get there on time. This might mean leaving earlier, getting up earlier, planning the night before or any number of other things.

My wife is facing this type of situation with going to work. She takes my daughter to preschool, to which she has to be there by 9:00 am. She has a specific set of things that she has to do in the morning that she can't do before. If she gets up at 6 or 6:30 am she can easily get them done. The problem lies with two events that may happen and could cause her to have to rush. She may stay up late the night before watching TV, blogging, or working on stuff for her work or association she's a member of. She feels she has to get her sleep so she'll stay in bed until the kids get up at 7:00 which is the limit. The second problem will come about when she does make it to bed early but plan too much in the morning. For a few weeks, she tried to have prayer time and exercise time before she got ready for work. This combo often went well over on the time allotted. The result of either infraction causes her to stress about getting both herself and our daughter ready for school.

 I try to help out since I don't usually have much need to get ready first thing. My only hindrances are taking care of the other two kids and pets. Everyone either needs to eat or potty/have a diaper change and can take a lot of time in the morning.  Frequently, comments will be launched mentioning how I don't help much in the morning due to my forgetfulness or that I just don't seem to care.  It seems that I will have to make sure to get up at least 30 minutes earlier just to get my things done before the others wake up.  Breakfast will have to be planned on a prior date so that I can get up and prepare breakfast for everyone.

I haven't been the best at prepping in the past.  I hope I can get this under control before our oldest gets to kindergarten.  Our life would be so much easier.

Easy Path or Hard Path?

I came across this poem via The Art of Manliness.  Thought it would be good inpiration for any man going through hard times.

The Quitter

By: Robert Service


When you’re lost in the Wild, and you’re scared as a child,
And Death looks you bang in the eye,
And you’re sore as a boil, it’s according to Hoyle
To cock your revolver and . . . die.
But the Code of a Man says: “Fight all you can,”
And self-dissolution is barred.
In hunger and woe, oh, it’s easy to blow . . .
It’s the hell-served-for-breakfast that’s hard.

“You’re sick of the game!” Well, now, that’s a shame.
You’re young and you’re brave and you’re bright.
“You’ve had a raw deal!” I know-but don’t squeal,
Buck up, do your damnedest, and fight.
It’s the plugging away that will win you the day,
So don’t be a piker, old pard!
Just draw on your grit; it’s so easy to quit:
It’s the keeping-your-chin-up that’s hard.

It’s easy to cry that you’re beaten-and die;
It’s easy to crawfish and crawl;
But to fight and to fight when hope’s out of sight-
Why, that’s the best game of them all!
And though you come out of each grueling bout,
All broken and beaten and scarred,
Just have one more try-it’s dead easy to die,
It’s the keeping-on-living that’s hard.

Wife's Rules #2 and #3

These two rules are similar so I put them up together.  I don't like doing laundry and that coupled with having to deal with a 10 m/o that doesn't want to be put down leads to me asking wife to at least fold and put away laundry.  I've agreed to run the loads through so they can be ready and try to sort, fold and put away as I can.


2. Wash at least one load of clothes a day.  This is more to make sure that we don't have a huge pile of laundry to do on one day.  There is also a shortage of wearable clothes for work/school/home to wear for an entire week, so frequent washing helps provide choices.

3. Make sure the washer is empty of wet clothes at the end of the day.  Wet clothes left in the washer can develop smell or cause the washer to develop smell.  It also makes finding clothes for the next day harder.

When a woman is frantic for a specific article of clothing, you do not want to let her know that it's dirty and needs to be washed (especially if she believes your the one responsible for washing the clothes in the first place).  Its just as bad as finding the clothing smelly because of sitting in the washer.  Your goal as the homemaker is to have clothing ready when needed (thereby reducing stress).

Moving, Part 1 - Workbench

Before moving into our current home, I wanted to have a workbench.  I made do with a variety of surfaces through the years, but when we finally moved someplace that we were planning to stay at awhile, I made one.  It got used for a variety of things and proved itself to be a valuable piece of furniture/equipment.  After many years, in preparation for our upcoming move, the bench had to be taken down.

In middle school, with the help of my dad, I made a train table.  My intention was to set a modest but detailed N-scale model train layout in my bedroom.  While the train did get built and a few models were added to it, the entire layout never really progressed.  Over the years, the table became more of a workbench.  I built other models on it, made a simple movie on it with my video camera, and used it for drawing.  I found that after moving to college that the need for a work surface never went away.  I used the workbenches in the school shop.  In one apartment, I used a simple floor layout similar to what I read the Japanese woodworkers might use.  Eventually I bought a small portable bench from Sears and used that until a move made it impossible to keep.

When we bought our condo, the shape and size of the garage made it perfect to build a bench.  After looking up ideas online, I designed a simple but sturdy workbench.  I made it out of 2x4's and one sheet of 3/4" plywood.  It was 2' deep and 8' long.  I mounted an upright 1/4" sheet of plywood to the back as a tool rack/holder.  Even though it was a simple set up, there were things about it that I grew to love.  The 2' x 8' size was easy to cut from one sheet of plywood and have enough for the top surface and a shelf underneath.  The depth allowed me to have some workspace and still be able to put organizers toward the back.  Even though it was 8' long, it didn't noticeably sag due to the use of full 2"x4"s to support the top and shelves and the weight kept it steady.  Using the plywood instead of pegboard allowed me to arrange my tools in anyway I wanted.  I just used wood dowels or custom shaped racks to hold my tools.  As a side benefit, as time went on, if you used a tool, you could still see the silhouette of it because of the darkening of the plywood around it.  On the other side of the coin, I never sealed it so when I would spill something on it or the cat would hack a hairball on it, the surface would stain.  Because the cats spend most of their time out there, the front legs became impromptu scratching posts.  I would have liked to have a set of drawers on it.  I'm this thorough only because I would like to remember how it was made.  I didn't get any photos of it.

I can't say I used it to make lots of wonderful things. It mainly got used as a surface to put things. Small objects that needed to be fixed, things that needed to be put away, and parts of projects I wanted to do all ended up there. This isn't to say that it didn't get used for for making or repairing things, it just wasn't often that I could spend time out there the last few years.

We are moving to a house that has a garage. Because it is my mother-in-law's house, there are still some things there. The garage was used primarily for storage of yard tools and other outdoor things like bikes, etc. My brother-in-law built a workbench in the basement and that is where most of the tools have been stored up until now. Having grown up in an area where we did not have basements, I can understand working down there because of the winter cold but otherwise I don't really want to have that as my shop. It's inconvenient to move things up and down the stairs. The dust control would be impossible as it is now because there is no door from the main area to the basement. Dust could go everywhere. 

I plan on doing more projects, many of which will likely need a sturdy surface to be built on.  If nothing else, I always need a surface to put odd things.  So, after we move, the workbench will probably be the first thing I build.

Being a Stay-At-Home-Dad

If your reading this and don't know me before reading my blog, I am a stay-at-home-dad or (SAHD for short).  I've had my emotional ups and downs dealing with this especially as a christian man.  How can I be a centurion in this role?

After having my ability to raise my kids questioned by non-family members last year, I went to a christian counselor/shrink.  Very nice guy.  I like to think of myself as having some wisdom but going to him got me thinking in ways I hadn't up until then.

I have gone through more depressed times since being a homemaker.  The change of habits and the limits put on your old lifestyle can be hard to get used to.  A variety of things have affected me more than I realized before going to the counselor.

I was of the mindset that my job was less important than my wife's so I quit instead of my wife so we could still make ends meet.  Having the wife bring home the bacon creates a whole new dynamic in the leadership of the house that can be for seen but is hard to deal with regularly.  The counselor taught me to think of myself in the image of a leader that I can relate to.  A CEO, for example, has to make the decisions of the company and manages it but doesn't do everything himself.  As CEO of our household, the counselor taught, I can think of myself as leader, determining what happens to the whole family.  He suggested I act and dress closer to how I viewed a person with these responsibilities would do.  Act the part and my mood about my situation would improve.  I created the idea of a centurion and this blog to fill this role.

I'm also less likely to have guy interactions.  I can go to places where the kids can have fun but moms are more likely to be there than other men.  Not to mention, I have less adult interaction overall beyond going to a store and dealing with the clerks instead of being around coworkers on a day to day basis.  A centurion at a post on the edge of the frontier will have little interaction with people but is still expected to perform his duties.  The counselor, on this point, recommended getting involved with activities once a week/month where I will be around other men such as men's group at church or volunteering.

On going list of "unmanly" chores.  Oh how I can go on about these.  Washing clothes and dishes.  Cooking, scrubbing toilets and showers.  Vacuuming and mopping.  Wiping kids' rears.  (I only mention these as unmanly from the view point that the traditional view is that the wife homemaker would do these.  Men cook and clean as jobs so I'm not trying to demean those men who do these activities as a job or for pleasure.)  My wisdom and the counselor both pointed out that as the person at home most, these should be more my responsibility than my wife's.  The counselor did point out that as a man homemaker that I could do things my wife would be less likely to do even as a at home mom.  Chores such as repairs and maintenance of the house and vehicles and taking care of the pets would need to be done even if I was a full-time worker.  I can get those done earlier rather than having to wait until the weekend as I would a worker.  Its just hard to want to do the same chores day after day.  (Oh wait, I had to do that at work anyways.)

I've had to change my attitude over the years to accept my new "job" as primary parent and homemaker.  This is not a reason to be depressed that you can't do or have what you did before kids.  It's a different job.  A 24-7 job.  Men have had to do this as sailors, workers at jobs far from family, and soldiers.  You get shore leave/vacation occasionally.  While your at work, however, you have to be at your best so no one gets hurt and you produce the best possible results for your "company" (family).  This job is more a man's job than most care to admit.

P.S. This is a shout-out to my great counselor at the Sheridan House.  Highly recommend them.  They are a Christian based family ministry here in South Florida that can help you in a number of ways.

Photo Opportunity

Flowering outside in February while a blizzard goes on up north.

Orchid, February 10, 2013

Wife's Rules #1

I going to try to make a list of rules that my wife has asked me to follow.  Not necessarily in order, I will track them as they enter my head.  I find that while it may be laughable that we have "rules" for each other, they really are just a list of things that annoy us and/or they are just things that make life easier for us later down the road.

So to start:

1. If you put beans in the coffee grinder, grind all of them.  This makes it easier to switch beans when you're in a rush later on.  We have small airtight containers that hold an entire batch of coffee grinds so this potentially will keep the coffee fresher than leaving the beans in the grinder.

Sometimes, rules get broken.  I might do it.  Sometimes, she breaks her own rules.  I've learned to try not to get aggravated about a rule getting broken and recently had to learn not to tell her if she breaks one of her own rules.

At first I thought it was bad timing when I told her of a broken rule because I told her when she was trying to get ready for work.  I found out later that there isn't a good time to tell her.

Along the same note, I can't figure out how to create rules of my own that stick.  Unless she is motivated spiritually or by a person she respects and admires, she usually won't follow for long any rule I ask.  It's not belligerence towards me.  It's more that her attention isn't really on me as I ask her to follow the rule.  I've blown up, early in our relationship, over little things that annoyed me and while she will follow that rule for a time, it puts too much stress on our family life.  I have yet to find a method that works.

This could get into a huge post about being the leader of a family but I'll save that for another time.

Doctor Visit

You should have a check up from your doctor at least once a year especially when your young or as you age. I've never been one to hold by those guidelines. I go to the eye doctor as needed, I haven't been to a dentist for far to long (but will go soon) and have only seen a regular doctor twice since childhood (both being in the last few years).

It isn't that I don't have insurance. Through most of my teens and up to my mid thirties, my feeling was that I seldom got sick, was relative healthy and didn't want to spend any money. There has been a time or two where I might have had a need to go to the emergency room. I figured let the people that need to go, I wouldn't add to the waiting lines.

A few years ago, my wife changed my mind. First, we were now parents and our children depend on us to be healthy to take care of them. (You know how hard it is to take care of several children when your sick?)  Second, we have been paying, thru work, for insurance for years and never took advantage of it. Third, we are getting older and our bodies are changing and we want to know if something starts to go wrong before it gets out of hand.

So this week, I went for my second check up in my adult life. Good timing, too! I got a bug that really hit me last weekend. I chalked it up to a potential flu since I had taken my youngest to her pediatrician a day before I got sick and there was a flu epidemic going strong up north. The only thing was this lingering flemy cough. He checked me out, asked some questions, and proclaimed that I had gotten a case of bronchitis. Gave me a prescription for that.

Checked the rest of me out (including the "drop your pants, turn your head and cough" test). I knew I was gaining weight and when I saw that I had gotten above 200lbs. He said I was healthy and gave me the ok on working out.  So from here on, I'll be working out more frequently and tracking my progress.  I've signed up on Fitocracy which will help me track my progress and encourage me to work out.  If you want to check on me, my user name is Centurionfather.